Ludacris has Hoes in US Territories too?

In what can only be described as shear genius, Stephanie Gray, a geography major, created a map (oh, how wonderful GIS is when used appropriately) showing the location of all the area codes Luda drops in his classic, Area Codes, for a blog called Stange Maps.

Click to enlarge.

She drew some intriguing conclusions based on the distribution of Luda’s “hoes”:

• “Ludacris heavily favors the East Coast to the West, save for Seattle, San Francisco, Sacramento, and Las Vegas.”
• “Ludacris travels frequently along the Boswash corridor.”
• “There is a ‘ho belt‘ phenomenon nearly synonymous with the ‘Bible Belt’.”
• “Ludacris has hoes in the entire state of Maryland.”
• “Ludacris has a disproportionate ho-zone in rural Nebraska. He might favor white women as much as he does black women, or perhaps, girls who farm.”
• “Ludacris’s ideal ‘ho-highway’ would be I-95.”
• “Ludacris has hoes in the Midway and Wake Islands. Only scientists are allowed to inhabit the Midway Islands, and only military personnel may inhabit the Wake Islands. Draw your own conclusion.”

Sure, some of the area codes Luda dropped may only be in there for rhyming reasons, but wouldn’t it be amazing if he had “hoes” in every one of these area codes? I personally don’t know how he has all this time, especially since he’s busy saving Asian immigrants from Asian American slave owners…

*Please note that BcB does not endorse or condone Luda’s use of the term ho or hoes when describing females, especially since the song was originally released on the Rush Hour 2 soundtrack. It also doesn’t help that Nate Dogg is rockin Kobe’s #8 in the video.

Wes Anderson Does it Again

I’ve mentioned my love/hate relationship with Wes Anderson in the past, and I’ve even BcB tweeted it when I watched the Fantastic Mr. Fox. But I finally figured out why the subtle fetishizing of people of color in ALL of Wes Anderson films really bug me. Whether its the Vietnam War reenactment in a school play at Rushmore Academy or the Filipino pirates in A Life Aquatic, Wes Anderson likes to fuck with folks. He likes to joke with people in their face, and since all the characters in his movie are in the know, its all an act. BUT. One problem. The people of color in his movies aren’t given the pleasure of being on the inside of the joke.

Poor Danny Glover in The Royal Tennenbaums doesn’t understand why he’s treated like an outsider in a family he has adopted as his own. Margaret Yang would do anything to please Max, so she doesn’t realize what it means for her to don a Viet Cong outfit in his mock war play. And The Darjeeling Limited? There are four people in the entire country of India during that movie that get that their in a movie: Anjelica Houston, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrian Brody. Everyone else is one-dimensional, brown folk just there for scenery, probably thinking Anderson is filming a documentary about trains.

And what about his latest film? How can Anderson bring in some subtle racism into a stop animation film about rabbits and foxes and humans? *Spoiler* By bringing in a one dimensional wolf that is the only “animal” in the film. It doesn’t talk, it doesn’t walk on two legs, and its the scariest thing on screen. And if you didn’t get the personification of the wolf character in the film, just for good measure, Anderson has the wolf raise a fist, Black Panther style.

Why does he do this? He knows his audience consists of graduate school educated, been to Paris on holiday, McLaren car seat in the back of an Audi A4, New Yorker reading yipsters, so they can read his subtext. All I know is that its getting harder and harder to watch his films as he gets cockier and cockier. Maybe its because he moved to Paris (this goes for you too Sedaris) or because deep down inside, he’s a Texan.

Bill Nguyen, CEO of Lala.com and Recent Moneymaker (Thanks to Apple)

Congrats to Bill Nguyen, Silicon Valley entrepreneur and CEO of lala.com for selling his streaming audio, Palo Alto-based company to Apple. Not only will you end up revolutionizing iTunes’s payment system and streaming audio potential, but you will (hopefully) be among many future Silicon Valley Vietnamese Americans shaking their moneymakers.

African American Comedies vs. British Comedies

Always been a fan of African American comedies (Coming to America? Classic. This Christmas with Chris Brown? Still enjoyed it). Also a big fan of British comedies (Spaced, Red Dwarf, Coupling, Ab Fab, and anything Simon Pegg to name a few). So the opportunity to have them go head to head is a rare opportunity. Check out Death at a Funeral. The  2007 British Frank Oz version vs. the Chris Rock version coming out in Spring 2010. And tell me which one you think will win (I’m betting on Tracey Morgan, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Danny Glover, Uhuru, and Cyclops).

Brit:

Black:

(I’ll forgive the Jackie Chan reference, but why’s it always gotta be Jackie Chan???)

Hmong Sacramento Hmong

Fate. It happened last time when I somehow ran into a clip of Ricebunny online. And it happened again this week when I was trying to find a UMYO remix of Chris Brown/T-Pain’s dance version of Freeze. I searched for “UMYO” and ended up with hmonglive.com in my searches (swear). 1 hour later, I’m writing this post.

Watch this video and tell me what your initial thought was (and I’ll tell you mine):

Was it all the hot girls? No, not really (but I’ll be damned if I didn’t add, “daaaaaaammmnnnnn”). Was it the pretty costumes or the production value of the video? Surprisingly, no. This video is the best example I’ve seen of Asian American folks speaking their native language and then sprinkling English words in. Going from a language with wicked tones and inflections and dropping it all to speak the mundane English words in between. It was all mesmerizing. Sure we all do it, but I’ll be damned when I heard: “Hmong-Hmong-Hmong-Fresno-Hmong-Hmong-Hmong-Hmong-Hmong-Express Auto Body and Paint-Hmong-Hmong-California”. MESMERIZING. Now I know what it feels like when a White dude hears me say “Hom qua toi di dai o chen duong Broadway va Clifton” (free McCain Hates Gooks t-shirt to the first person to translate that in the comments).

Added bonus: Peep the production value in the previous year’s Miss Hmong California pageant vs this years. I think one of the sponsors, Express Auto Body and Paint maybe (?), threw some extra money at the pageant for some good videographers.

America’s Best Dance Crew What?

We at BcB have always prided ourselves for being the most informative source of ABDC news among all the Asian American blogs (we will battle anyone that thinks otherwise). But since ABDC has sucked the past few go-arounds, what to do? Luckily for us, there’s the League of Extraordinary Dancers, and they look damn good:

So why are we so into this stuff? Is there even an Asian American angle? Well, other than the fact that I do like Filipinos dancing (as Lil Mama would say), this new crew is the brainchild of John M. Chu, Asian American director of Step Up 2 the Streets. In between that movie and now, he’s been doing YouTube videos with “battles” between his crew and, uh, Miley Cyrus (I guess he knows his demographics). I’ll forgive him for that, but only because the crew’s choreography is done by “The Other Asian” from Glee and Step Up 2 the Streets, Harry Shum, Jr. So what now? Are they doing a show with these folks or is this a one time thing on So You Think You Can Dance?

PS. Kid Rainen from Jabbawockeez is on the crew, as well as three of my future ex-wives.

Thanks RyRy!

BcB 1st Annual Halloween Costume Contest Winner

True, I just created this contest as a means to show you the best Halloween costume of all time.

If you have any idea where this photo came from, please let us know in the comments. Applications for next years contest will be taken Oct 30, 2010.

Friday Fuckery: Sperm Kills

Hazardous to your health

Ok, maybe it doesn’t exactly KILL — but new research in Japan suggests that spermies can shorten the lifespan: “female mice produced by using genetic material from two mothers but no father live significantly longer than mice with the normal mix of maternal and paternal genes. Their findings provide the first evidence that sperm genes may have a detrimental effect on lifespan in mammals“.

So in addition to being icky, sperm’s kinda harmful for your health. Wow, what implications does this hold for the future of human reproduction? Maybe by 2050 we’ll just do away with men altogether, and Amazonian ladies will be charged with procreating a new breed of bionic superhuman supermodels. Another good argument for having two moms.

9021Pho in Beverly Hills

judging by the menu, they might need more "tuong den" on that table. actually, a LOT more.

I’m not entirely against Vietnamese pho restaurants using puns in their names (Pho King in East Oakland comes to mind). And I’m not  against Vietnamese spots that don’t use accents in their menus; they confuse English-reading folks and are superfluous to folks who can read Viet, given some context of course (see 9021Pho menu). But you damn well better serve some good pho! Not that fusion crap (usually fused with more water and less MSG fish sauce). Cause this is the one dish that Americans don’t like when its watered down and prepared in a French-style bowl (ie. small portion in a giant white dish). So I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt 9021Pho in Beverly Hills, California. But judging by the Thrillist review, I have DOUBTS. EXTREME DOUBTS:

From the former chef of Michela comes this nook-like, modern casual soupery dedicated almost entirely to brothy Vietnamese deliciousness, with variations including Pho Ca (sliced tuna, onion, bean sprout, basil, and chili w/ chicken stock) and Spicy and Sour (shrimp, sole, straw mushroom, pineapple, baby corn and noodles in lemongrass, chili and tamarind broth); there’re also a few traditional entrees, like prawns wok-tossed with cilantro, garlic, and sherry vinaigrette over sliced tomatoes, and a peppercorn sauced filet mignon that’s cubed — so bring your TI-86.

Thanks RyRy.

Asian Americans Take Over Silicon Valley Local Government

It what can only be described as a long time coming, Cupertino, California, home of Apple Corp, Donut Wheel, and the worst BJ’s Brew Pub ever, finally has a majority Asian American City Council. Growing up in the South Bay, you would have thought the home of every East Asian folk I’ve ever known in my life would have tipped AsAm years ago, especially since there’s only 5 seats. I should note that this doesn’t make the city any more diverse versus other South Bay cities, cause Cupertino will continue to be mostly East Asian and White folks. And this doesn’t mean it’s all love and peace there either. Cause I don’t think they’ll ever get over the White vs Asian mentality that’s been poppin since before I can remember, whether it was a local government issue or whether the 15 valedictorians at Cupertino High were majority Asian or White.

But for now, I wanna thank Cupertino for joining the other two Cali cities with majority Asian American City Councils: Westminster (pronounced Wet-Min-Tur) and Monterey Park (Duh).

Also, quick big ups to Evan Low for becoming the youngest Asian American mayor in America! He is also the youngest gay mayor in the US.

The South Bay has done come up! Take THAT San Francisco!

Thanks Gil!