A Treasured (Big Gay Chinese) Wedding

I don’t usually get super emotional at weddings (except over the bounty of booze and food), but these newlyweds are giving me life! Shove off, William and Kate, you’ve been upstaged for Wedding of the Millenium by Big Treasure and Little Treasure.

A retired history teacher and a water delivery man who met while the latter was bringing water to the former, the couple married in front of 12,000 online Weibo supporters — many of whom I’m guessing they garnered after a video of them singing a karaoke love song to each other went viral. The couple were moved by the Hong Kong gay rights organization Big Love Alliance to come out and shout their love from the rooftops and into karaoke mics.

If I was at this wedding I’d be ferociously banging my chopsticks on my plate, making countless Hennessy toasts, and blubbering like an hormonal pageant queen.

And it wouldn’t be a gay old wedding without some shade: commenting on a son’s refusal to attend, “It’s disappointing that outsiders can bless us but not our own son. The heartless child is sabotaging our happiness.” BOOM, you thankless party poopin’ black-hearted assbrat!

While same-sex marriage is not recognized in China, the couple declared on Weibo: “We won’t part till we die. We will strive to be together no matter how hard and painful it is.”

From the groom’s adorable crooked bowtie, to the groom’s red roses bouquet quinceañera eleganza, to the arm-in-arm shots, the key word here is TREASURE.

Wishing Mr. & Mr. Treasure Deep Love, Long Life, and Double Happiness!

via Dlisted and Queerty

JK POP! Ticket Giveaway!

To all our Seattle-area readers: Bicoastal Bitchin wants to send you (+1!) to JK POP! on Thursday, August 2nd at Barboza. JK POP! is Seattle’s only J-pop & K-pop dance party and it is good times! Just looky here:

Did you see that butt grab at 0:16!? This could be you!

To enter, simply follow @jkpopnight on Twitter and tweet:

“@BicoastalBitchn wants to send me to @jkpopnight for free!”

JK POP! will notify a winner on Wednesday, August 1st, so get your tweet in before then. You must be 21+ (sorry, kids!).

Full event details here.

Countdown (Asian Kid Snuggie Version)

Before I begin, let me just say this made my everything. I am LIVING for this kid Ton. Not only did he slay “Countdown”, he did it in a frickin’ Snuggie with the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent that qualifies him to be all Bye, Girl, Bye to Queen Bey herself. Also, he obviously shot this in his parents’ den, which just adds to its “not-gonna-let-the-suburbs-dull-my-shine” realness:

This makes me nostalgic for the Basement Jaxx and Peaches lip syncs me and Princess Char Char used to make in our Chinatown apartment. Except we had a shitty laptop-generated green screen and about 18 inches of dancing space. And were well into our mid ’20s. Plus I was totally that white girl with glasses.

If you happen to be headless and need more proof that the choreo and editing is perfection, check out the comparison to the original “Countdown” vid:

Instead of that hot mess of a report ‘The Rise of Asian Americans“, Pew should have just linked to this.

Ton…YOU OWN EVERYTHING BOO.

via Crunk & Disorderly

Sakura-Con J-Pop Extravaganza!

Since the Asian Americans behind this blog don’t know shit about Japanese pop culture, this guest post is brought to you by special J/K Pop correspondent, lace front-wearin’ Sakura fashion model, and BCB Affirmative Action Fellow, Reese Umbaugh aka Bishie Reesie.

Beginning today, all of downtown Seattle will be flanked by cosplayers, otakus, and tons and tons of adults in Pokémon costumes. That’s right: It’s Sakura-Con weekend. For those unfamiliar, Sakura-Con is Seattle’s annual three-day anime convention held at the cavernous Washington State Convention & Trade Cener. Programming includes panels on everything from voice acting to Japanese cooking, RPG and tabletop gaming, fashion shows (more on that in a later post!), and J-pop concerts.

Much like my previous post on K-pop, I’d like to take a moment in honor of Sakura-Con weekend and share with you my 5 favorite J-pop bands, in no particular order:

Stereopony:

If you are a fan of anime, there’s a damn good chance that you’ve heard a song by Stereopony. They basically have the anime theme song market on lockdown, having done theme songs for Gundam, Bleach, and Darker Than Black. They’re also note-worthy for being an all-female rock band, which makes them instantly badass. If you’re into it and heading to Sakura-Con then you’re in luck! Stereopony will be performing tonight at 6:30PM. Not able to make it? Good news, they’re also live-streaming the show. More info here.

The Pillows:

Man, I love me some Pillows. I remember being in high school and spending a hefty chunk of change to import this record from Japan. I’d blast it in my car on full volume with my windows down and other kids would stare me down. I finally saw The Pillows live in a shitty Seattle venue last fall and they blew my face off.

Perfume:

Originally formed in 2001, Perfume has slowly taken over the Japanese pop world. Recently signing on with Universal in order to release their music internationally, the girls seem poised for worldwide success. Fun Fact about Perfume: They formed the group themselves as teenagers, without being put together by a record company. This video stands as one of my favorites of all time.

Shonen Knife:

The song above is called “I Am a Cat”. That is all.

The Seatbelts:

Less a band and more a force of nature, The Seatbelts is composed of over a dozen members and helmed by the musical Goddess of anime: Yoko Kanno. Nothing makes me want to run in the opposite direction quite like the words “jazz band”, but The Seatbelts are so much more than that. They span genres, have songs in multiple languages, and make some of the craziest music I have ever heard.

See you in the mosh pit at Sakura-Con!

Children with Swag aka The Cool Kids

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I never really saw the point of dressing childrens in designer duds or name brands. Baby Gap and Rocawear Kids seemed like a waste of money to me. Kids don’t know any better, dress ’em in a burlap sack! More money for Costco and community college, and they will thank you for it.  At least wait until the pre-teen years, when they actually start caring (or getting teased) about what they wear.

Shoot, I wore my cousins’ hand-me-downs from Hong Kong till I was damn near into middle school. Sure, they were boy cousins, but I was the only chick rocking Transformers velcro shoes and brown cords and pilly chinglish dinosaur sweaters. BOSS. And if half a school year typically passed before teachers realized I was actually a girlchild, I think it only made me stronger and not sour or weird or anything like that ok. OK? AT. ALL.

Uh, anyway, the Tumblr site Children With Swag may just change my mind about all that. I guess I didn’t realize how screamingly magical everything — bowties and ’90s pop culture references especially — becomes on a tiny, squat body.

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Plus the Asian kids are KILLIN’ it — throughout and thoroughly:

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Including BCB buddy A Rex’s nephew Goni:

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This makes me think the nerdy Asian kid stereotype will be extinct in about 10 years. Swag is the new nerd.

Thanks Erica and Alex!

The Korean Adele on K-Pop Star

Park Jimin, a cute 15-year-old in a fuzzy bowtie sweater, really threw K-Pop Star judges for a loop when she opened her mouth and out poured the voice of a plump, soulful white woman named Adele. The eye cuts of malice and looks of sheer terror on the other contestants’ faces at 0:40 is also quite priceless.

Now all Park Jimin needs is a Bumpit and some “glamour length” Lee Press-on Nails in Nude Mink Muff and she’s ready to roll.

via Buzzfeed

Jane Lui Covers DuckTales

If you’re a child of the ’80s/’90s, you might have spent every day after school parked in front of the TV with a bowl of Top Ramen/microwaveable mini burgers, inhaling as much Disney Afternoon through your eyeballs as possible before your parents got home and made you do shit.

DuckTales was just one of the animated offerings on the delectable Disney Afternoon line-up, but definitely the one with the catchiest theme song and most jammin’ bassline in all of TVLand.

Teaching kids to be money-grubbing capitalists via adorable, pants-less ducks!

Singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Jane Lui (whose latest record Goodnight Company was nominated for Best Local Recording in this year’s San Diego Music Awards) has done an equally fun cover that’ll guarantee you’ll be screaming “whooo-ooh!” for days and losing/gaining a few friends in the process.

Man in Panda Suit Win

I really love me some fake animal suits. Sports mascots, Disney characters, Easter Bunnies…they’re all so adorably weird and janky-looking (but I’ll pass on the questionable furry/David Wu costumes). And as demonstrated time and time again, panda approximations are clearly the people’s choice.

Baby panda Tao Tao was born into captivity, and to prevent him from getting too used to humans before his release into the wild, his handlers only approach him (and mother Cao Cao) in full-on panda couture.

Cao Cao is unimpressed.

Tao Tao celebrated his first birthday by being transported to the Wolong Panda base for some wilderness behavior training.

Nice junk on the one on the left. Reminds me of a certain Late Night onanistic bear.

I need one of these ‘fits for sneaking up on my cat when I have to take him to the vet. Anybody have a giant Tabby costume I can borrow? I bet it would come in handy for getting in free to sports games and amusement parks too.

via Shortlist

Babies ‘n’ Cats! Cats ‘n’ Babies!!

Because it’s still early in the week and we’re  just tryin to get through, I figure y’all could use a big dose of bawwww with a side of chuckle:

Hey Korean internet baby — your ludicrous cuteness is bringing out my reticent maternal instinct so strongly that I would like to borrow you for a few hours then give you back. Stop it, you!

Shifting gears to another muse of the info superhighway: Cats!!

This new video from Freddie Wong (of Wong Fu Productions) proves that even though your house cats may seem like aloof, preening bitches — they will come through for you when it really matters — like in a brutal gunfight. Medal of Honor Cat is sure to join the ranks of acclaimed war classics such as Saving Private Ryan and Platoon. Meeeyaaaaah!

via HuffPo

Thanks DJ Char Char Binks!

ABDC 6 Champions: IaMmE

I’m almost a week late on catching the finale of ABDC 6 since I’ve been traveling in the South for work aka stuffing my face with biscuits n grits, but thanks to the miracle of online eps, I’m still able to indulge my ABDC obsession.

The finale was pretty spectacular, not only naming this year’s winning crew, but bringing back crews from previous seasons (and thus heavy APIA representation).

Poreotix demonstrated their trademark sense of humor with a “Friday” mashup of Rebecca Black/Jason. They seem to have gotten tighter as a group, maybe from all the practice they’ve had opening for Bieberella.

Season 4’s We Are Heroes danced to — appropriately — Beyonce’s “Run the World Girl”. Two members did back-handsprings in heels for like 27 minutes, then landed into the splits. My crotch both cringed and applauded.

Season 3 Champs and my future husbands Quest Crew performed a pillow fight in purple onesies, which was a mix of adorable and hot and made me feel weird about myself. SLUMBER PARTY!

Super Cr3w (Season 2) revived their ninja b-boy stance, and Jabbawockeez was more mind-blowing than ever, with the help of a mini-wockee:

Aiya, my ovaries explode.

While I think Phunk Phenomenon got robbed from a spot in the final two, I was glad that IaMmE was in the running against ICONic Boyz, and they ultimately took the title after performing to Far East Movement’s “Rocketeer”. Di “Moon” Zhang’s parents made good on their promise, and traveled all the way from China to see him perform for the first time (watch them cheering in the audience at the 2:31, 3:04, and 3:17 mark). And maybe I cried a little bit.

Congrats to Season 6 brainbangin’ Champs IaMmE!